Parenting information for Dads, Correspondence courses, ‘Blokes Books’, Family Court advice, Protection Order advice & Parenting through Separation advice.
Mondays | 7-9 PM | 4-week online course
Separation isn’t just the end of a relationship – it’s the start of big changes. New living arrangements, shifting responsibilities, and emotional challenges can feel overwhelming. And if you’re a parent, you may be wondering how to protect your children and support them through this transition. That’s why we’re introducing Stepping Stones – a guided course designed to help navigate this journey with clarity and support.
Join us over four weeks for expert advice, practical strategies, and a safe space to move forward.
Our team understand the challenges that parents face. Kids Need Dads courses will support parents from all backgrounds become engaged, confident, connected parents.
The courses are delivered by post or email, module by module so clients can manage at their own pace. We will provide feedback and encouragement as you progress through the programme. On completion we will provide you with a Certificate confirming your accomplishment.
Discovering Fatherhood A comprehensive 10-module course including: baby brain, early development, safety with toddlers, emotional development and navigating teenagers, plus understanding our own parenting style. This provides great information, tips and strategies for parents. Contact us to register for this course.
Watch this space for more KND courses coming soon…
The Blokes Book is a free directory of local health and wellbeing services for men. There are two booklets – these cover the Wellington region and Horowhenua/Manawatu region.
The Blokes Book is an amazing resource that provides local information and direct contact details for a huge range of male-related topics and services.
We can provide booklets free of charge. Contact us to place an order.
Separation can be a challenging time when emotions are running high. While it may feel overwhelming, the choices you make now can shape your relationship with your children for years to come.
Writing an affidavit can bring up strong emotions, especially if you feel hurt, frustrated, or misrepresented. You may want to correct every accusation or respond to what feels unfair. Try not to use your affidavit to argue with your ex or react emotionally. A calm, well-organized affidavit that focuses on facts and your child’s wellbeing is more likely to be taken seriously by the Court.
Your affidavit is: ✔ FACTS ✔ DATES ✔ EVENTS ✔ CHILD-FOCUSED
Not: ✘ Rants ✘ Insults ✘ Attempts at diagnosing your ex ✘ Historic Relationship drama
Simple Formula
WHAT happened WHEN it happened HOW it affected the child WHAT you did about it
Bad Example ❌ “She is a manipulative narcissist who keeps cancelling visits.”
Good Example
✔ A visit was agreed for Saturday at 10am. At 9:30am she texted to cancel and the visit did not occur. A similar situation occurred the previous weekend on Saturday 6 May. A visit was scheduled for 10am. At 10:15am I was advised by text that the visit was cancelled, after the scheduled start time.
Keep It Simple
✔ Each subject Named before each paragraph ✔ Short paragraphs ✔ One event per paragraph – with line numbers ✔ Use dates ✔ Stay calm ✔ Attach proof where possible = Exhibits
Examples of proof: – screenshots – school letters – medical reports – photos – parenting calendars
Focus On The Child The Court cares most about: – safety – stability – routine – schooling – medical care – parenting involvement
Important ✔ Follow Court orders ✔ Stay respectful in messages ✔ Keep records ✔ Write facts, not emotion
Even when things feel stressful, a clear, calm affidavit will be given more weight than one written in anger.
General information only. Not legal advice.
Receiving a Protection Order can feel overwhelming. You may feel shocked, angry, or that the situation is unfair. You may even feel like you have already been judged. Take a breath. A Protection Order is serious, but it does not mean you have no options.
Stay calm and avoid reacting emotionally. Read the Order carefully, follow its conditions exactly, and do not contact the protected person.
You do not need to solve everything today. Focus first on understanding the Order, getting legal advice as soon as possible, and putting the right support around you. What you do from this point forward matters.
IMPORTANT: Read everything carefully. If the Order is temporary, you may have the opportunity to respond or challenge it, but strict time limits can apply. Missing those deadlines may mean the Order becomes final, so it is important to get advice quickly.
· Read Carefully – You may only have 10 days to respond
· A Protection Order is legally enforceable.
· Even accidental breaches can cause serious problems.
· These Orders can also be challenged through the Family Court process.
· Stay calm
· Follow the Order exactly
· Do not contact the protected person
· Do not try to argue your case directly
· Get legal advice early
Your behavior from this point matters.
DO
· Read the Order carefully
· Save messages and paperwork
· Talk to a lawyer
· Stay respectful and child-focused
· Keep away from conflict
DON’T
· Argue or react emotionally
· Post online about the situation
· Ignore Court paperwork
· Use friends or family to pass messages
· Don’t assume the applicant will change their mind
When Emotions Are High
· Stop before sending messages
· Reread messages before sending
· Ask yourself if it could make things worse
· If unsure, don’t send it
Focus On Today
· Eat
· Sleep
· Stay around supportive people
· Keep focused on your children
· Take things one step at a time
· Exercise
Remember
This situation feels overwhelming now, but panic, anger, or retaliation usually make things harder.
Small calm decisions matter more than big emotional ones.
Need Support?
· 1737 → Free mental health support
· 111 → Emergency
· 105 → Police non-emergency
· Family Court NZ → justice.govt.nz/family
Separation can be an extremely challenging time, with emotions running high on both sides. In the initial stages of a break-up, it’s common to feel lost, confused, alone, and searching for answers.
The decisions you make during this time can have lasting consequences, especially when children are involved. Separation can have a significant impact on children, who often feel the effects of conflict, uncertainty, and changes in family life, even when those impacts are not immediately visible.
Taking steps to separate safely means being mindful of your actions, managing conflict where possible, and making choices that protect your wellbeing, your future, and your relationship with your children. Careful decision-making now can help prevent situations from escalating, support healthier co-parenting, and create greater stability for everyone involved.
Communication Tips
Communication during separation can be difficult, especially when messages feel provocative, unfair, or emotionally charged. When tensions are high, the biggest challenge is keeping your responses steady, even when the other person is not. How you respond can make a significant difference to outcomes, especially for your children.
· Keep messages brief and factual
· Focus only on the children’s needs
· Avoid insults, blame, or sarcasm, even if provoked
· Pause before responding and take time to settle before replying
· Confirm agreements in writing
· This is not about accepting poor behavior. It is about protecting yourself, reducing conflict, and keeping communication focused on what matters most, your kids.
✔ DO
· Stay calm and respectful
· Keep communication child-focused – important
· Save messages and document incidents
· Follow all Court and Protection Orders
· Look after your mental and physical health
· Reach out to your supports
· Be especially careful with alcohol
✘ DON’T
· Fight over text or social media
· Use children as messengers
· Ignore legal documents
· Breach Protection Orders
· React emotionally or aggressively
· Don’t think the applicant will suddenly change their mind
If You’ve Been Accused of Family Violence
If a protection order has been issued or allegations have been made, it is important to take the situation seriously and get support as early as possible. You do not have to navigate this alone. Speaking with a lawyer and reaching out to support services can help you understand your position and what steps to take next.
· Read the order carefully
· Follow every condition exactly
· Do not contact the protected person if prohibited
· Save all communication and evidence
· Get legal advice immediately
· Stay calm and avoid confrontation
NZ Support Services
· Mental Health Support: 1737
· Police Emergency: 111
· Police Non-Emergency: 105
· Family Court Information: justice.govt.nz/family
· Community Law: communitylaw.org.nz
Disclaimer: This guide provides general information only and is not legal advice.
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